NYWICI - Ask the Coach

A former boss who I've kept in touch with since leaving the company contacted me several months ago about an opportunity to return to the company with a more advanced position than when I left. She called me at home, wanted me to think about it and then I contacted her and said I was interested, but had some questions about the position. This was back in August and since then I have had to email her several times to follow-up and after several "I'm still working on it" emails, I finally got one back saying that she had to offer the opportunity internally first, but that the opportunity was not "dead". That was two months ago and I have yet to hear back from her. Frankly, I'm upset that she did this and got my hopes up, not to mention that she originally called me at home on a weekend to tell me about the position. My two questions are, should I bother to ever contact her again to let her know how disappointing and unprofessional this was and secondly, should I continue to use her as a professional reference because after this incident part of me doesn't trust her to give me a good reference.

Certainly, this boss is not trustworthy or considerate. That said, I would not contact her and tell her that you were disappointed or that she is unprofessional. How would angering her help you in any way and especially if indeed you might need her as a professional reference? If you are in doubt about her being a personal reference try calling her and very professionally and politely asking her if she would provide you with a good reference should you need one.
—Reply from Margaret Haas.

[ COMMENT ON ANSWER ]

I was laid off from my job last year as a Marketing Communications Manager. After months of looking with no success, I received a call from a former mgr offering me a foot-in-the-door opportunity at a major company. The work was administrative and involved passing agency contracts back-and-forth between Legal and Agency contacts. I took the job for two reasons: I really liked this Mgr, work well with her, learn alot from her and wanted to work with her again, and I also was coming to the end of my unemployment benefits, had tapped most of my savings, and, frankly, needed the work. After the initial project, the company was so pleased with me that they asked me to stay. The problem is that now I seem relegated and stuck in a an ill-defined, and mostly administrative, function in a company where my background in project mgmt is highly relevant to the business. I think this is mostly my own fault. Too eager-to-please and a bit desparate for work when I arrived, I think I may have "given" too much away. I'm not adverse to doing any kind of work, even if is administrative, but I'm concerned that if that's all I do there's no way to show the team what I am capable of? Is this a silly concern? Should I just continue to keep my nose-to the grindstone and hope for the best? Although, I did negotiate a good pay rate for myself, I never asked about specific job responsibilities and I even offered more than once to help my mgr by doing admin tasks because I like and admire her and I guess, was trying to impress her with my laid-back and helpful manner. I really like it here and would like to be considered for a management position if one became available. What is the best tactic to get them to now see me in that light? Is it too late? Have I already blown it by not negotiating and asking more questions from the get-go?

You seem very aware of the choices you needed to make and your present situation. Good for you! Now gather your courage and start networking to and asking executives how you might advance out of that position always being positive and thrilled with where you would go with more responsibility. I think you need to ask for you want politely and cheerfully and relentlessly or ask where else you might move i.e. get intros to other companies where you could get that responsibility!
—Reply by Margaret Haas.

[ COMMENT ON ANSWER ]

If I look for a new job while working for my current employer, how do I ensure that the potential new employer is discreet? Are they likely to require letters of recommendation from me? Will they call my current employer to verify employment? I want to avoid jeopardizing my current job without limiting my chances with the potential new employer.

Everyone faces this issue so most new employers understand that they can't get always get references from just previous employers! No, they usually won't require letters of recommendation. These days references are usually most important for top executives because on more junior levels most employers are loath to say much about any employee they have/have had because of all the legal ramifications. As an executive recruiter, when I check references on employees on behalf of new employers I usually network in two directions: I call the names of people provided to me by the prospective employee and I call anyone I can think of that works near or around that employee if possible to make sure that they are who they say they are!
—Reply by Margaret Haas.

[ COMMENT ON ANSWER ]

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		NYWICI Ask the Coach: Q&A Highlights With this feature, NYWICI.org introduces a new regular feature, in which a seasoned executive coach will answer job and career related questions from NYWICI members. One of our participating coaches will reply to selected questions that reflect the concerns of a cross-section of our members. A former boss who I've kept in touch with since leaving the company contacted me several months ago about an opportunity to return to the company with a more advanced position than when I left. She called me at home, wanted me to think about it and then I contacted her and said I was interested, but had some questions about the position. This was back in August and since then I have had to email her several times to follow-up and after several "I'm still working on it" emails, I finally got one back saying that she had to offer the opportunity internally first, but that the opportunity was not "dead". That was two months ago and I have yet to hear back from her. Frankly, I'm upset that she did this and got my hopes up, not to mention that she originally called me at home on a weekend to tell me about the position. My two questions are, should I bother to ever contact her again to let her know how disappointing and unprofessional this was and secondly, should I continue to use her as a professional reference because after this incident part of me doesn't trust her to give me a good reference. Certainly, this boss is not trustworthy or considerate. That said, I would not contact her and tell her that you were disappointed or that she is unprofessional. How would angering her help you in any way and especially if indeed you might need her as a professional reference? If you are in doubt about her being a personal reference try calling her and very professionally and politely asking her if she would provide you with a good reference should you need one. —Reply from Margaret Haas. [ COMMENT ON ANSWER ] I was laid off from my job last year as a Marketing Communications Manager. After months of looking with no success, I received a call from a former mgr offering me a foot-in-the-door opportunity at a major company. The work was administrative and involved passing agency contracts back-and-forth between Legal and Agency contacts. I took the job for two reasons: I really liked this Mgr, work well with her, learn alot from her and wanted to work with her again, and I also was coming to the end of my unemployment benefits, had tapped most of my savings, and, frankly, needed the work. After the initial project, the company was so pleased with me that they asked me to stay. The problem is that now I seem relegated and stuck in a an ill-defined, and mostly administrative, function in a company where my background in project mgmt is highly relevant to the business. I think this is mostly my own fault. Too eager-to-please and a bit desparate for work when I arrived, I think I may have "given" too much away. I'm not adverse to doing any kind of work, even if is administrative, but I'm concerned that if that's all I do there's no way to show the team what I am capable of? Is this a silly concern? Should I just continue to keep my nose-to the grindstone and hope for the best? Although, I did negotiate a good pay rate for myself, I never asked about specific job responsibilities and I even offered more than once to help my mgr by doing admin tasks because I like and admire her and I guess, was trying to impress her with my laid-back and helpful manner. I really like it here and would like to be considered for a management position if one became available. What is the best tactic to get them to now see me in that light? Is it too late? Have I already blown it by not negotiating and asking more questions from the get-go? You seem very aware of the choices you needed to make and your present situation. Good for you! Now gather your courage and start networking to and asking executives how you might advance out of that position always being positive and thrilled with where you would go with more responsibility. I think you need to ask for you want politely and cheerfully and relentlessly or ask where else you might move i.e. get intros to other companies where you could get that responsibility! —Reply by Margaret Haas. [ COMMENT ON ANSWER ] If I look for a new job while working for my current employer, how do I ensure that the potential new employer is discreet? Are they likely to require letters of recommendation from me? Will they call my current employer to verify employment? I want to avoid jeopardizing my current job without limiting my chances with the potential new employer. Everyone faces this issue so most new employers understand that they can't get always get references from just previous employers! No, they usually won't require letters of recommendation. These days references are usually most important for top executives because on more junior levels most employers are loath to say much about any employee they have/have had because of all the legal ramifications. As an executive recruiter, when I check references on employees on behalf of new employers I usually network in two directions: I call the names of people provided to me by the prospective employee and I call anyone I can think of that works near or around that employee if possible to make sure that they are who they say they are! —Reply by Margaret Haas. [ COMMENT ON ANSWER ] To ask a question of the coach please visit Submissions. [ TOP ]


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